Colbert Says to Beware Trump’s ‘Patented Anti-Recession Elixir’

Colbert Says to Beware Trump’s ‘Patented Anti-Recession Elixir’


“If there’s one thing Trump loves to brag about, it’s the stock market. He talks about it constantly — and by talks about it, I of course mean he lies about it, because he lies about everything.” — SETH MEYERS

“Despite major Wall Street losses yesterday and global fears of a recession, President Trump tweeted today, ‘Consumers are in the best shape ever, plenty of cash, business optimism is at an all-time high.’ And then the mayor from ‘Jaws’ tweeted, ‘Beaches open — no sharks in sight.’” — SETH MEYERS

“Now get this: In Ohio, the Guinness world record was just broken for most people scratching Lotto tickets at the same time. Even worse, that’s Trump’s plan to fix the economy.” — JIMMY FALLON

“I’m not saying the economy is in trouble, but right now, giving money to John Hickenlooper’s presidential campaign is a better investment.” — JIMMY FALLON

“If things do go south, Trump knows who to blame, tweeting ‘the fake news media is doing everything they can to crash the economy because they think that will be bad for me and my re-election.’ Yes, this is all a plot by those masters of economic strategy: newspapers! They want a recession so more people buy the Sunday edition to use as a blanket.” — STEPHEN COLBERT



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